Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
