You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
