Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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