In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We had to coat check the pizza.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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