Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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