Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just cropdusted the office
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
