the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
