shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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