I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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