You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She needs sedatives and a leash
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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