I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
