so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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