I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
