we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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