When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize