You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
