HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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