Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize