so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
