He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
