Just fell off a train. Bad.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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