I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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