im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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