Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize