Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
