No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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