You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
