i barfeds in our rink
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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