Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hippo gnu deer
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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