Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
