I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
