She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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