Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
