she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This is my gift to your gina
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
