My Higher Power is John Stamos
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
