she was so not down for the gang bang
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
