I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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