Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize