how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
