She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize