theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
