I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
