so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
