hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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