There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize