i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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