Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
