he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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