Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
