Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
