I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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