imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
