i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I still have a little drunk in my system
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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