i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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