I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
