They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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