Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
