okay pat passed out under dana's car
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
