so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
