so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize